When I was a kid I was always excited for the future. I wanted to be older, grown-up, getting to do things like drive a car and go to high school (and then go to college) and then be an FBI agent or whatever crazy thing I thought I wanted to be that day. I was always excited for the next thing and it didn't matter what it was.
Apparently I have not changed at all in this respect.
People always say you should savor the time you have, but I have never really understood how to do that. I can't stop time or hold on to anything for any longer than I can move past the moments I'm done with.
The last couple years have flown by. Like, in a ridiculously fast way. When we first moved to Ohio, I thought we were going to spend years ago. I called people, got involved in the historical society (I was the youngest person by 30 years, they were so excited to have me), got involved in a church, found a house I really liked; I had plans to stay. A mere four months later, I had plans to leave.
I wasn't think about rushing into the future while we were there. I expected we'd live there between three and five years, so I was digging in. Now I find that I really miss our time there. It was a quiet and pleasant life. I wonder if part of my fondness is the peace of mind I had while I lived there and that fact that maybe I was savoring that moment, even though I didn't even realize it.
Now, I am once again trying to rush into the future. Don't get me wrong, what I am doing right now is really great. Sometimes I can't believe they let me work on these issues and talk to Ambassadors and foreign dignitaries. But I cannot wait for what is next. In a few short months my first tour will be over and I will be heading into long-term language training at the National Foreign Affairs Training Center. I am so looking forward to that.
But even once I'm in training, I will want to rush into what is next: finally going overseas for the State Department. I want to hurry my way out to post and get to the consulate and learn my new job and be totally overwhelmed again like I was when I started this tour.
I can't stop wanting to rush to the next thing. And I imagine I am going to be feeling this way a lot in a career where you move every few years.
